MY MENTAL HEALTH STORY

 

I remember being six years old, and performing in the West Auckland choir night. Boy, was I up high in the bleachers, when I suddenly got hot and felt sick, really sick. Down they got me, and I spent my performance at the bottom with all my schoolmates 10 metres above me. I still sang, cause I never turn down a performance opportunity!

I’m working in an insurance company call centre (glamourous, right?), paying off my student loan as I freelance as a script writer here and there. I’m out of home now, and living with my then boyfriend.

3 months in and I’m starting to feel a little sick. Must be a bad diet what with living out of home now, right? Haha! Sure.

It gets worse. And worse. And worse. AND consistent. 15 months later, I’m at the point where I’m nauseous on a Saturday morning, knowing a whole new week will be starting soon, working at a job that wasn’t for me.

Mum had driven us to the mall that was 40 minutes away, and I? I couldn’t get out of the car. I said “I feel so sick, I’m so scared I’ll be sick in front of everyone.” We turned around and started the journey home, but before that she said “You know, I think you have anxiety.”

Thankfully I slept well as I got through this phase in 2012 (my worst), that took a good 5 months. I think constantly shaking wore my body out. Throughout this time, I created this blog, got some part time work, and finally moved back to full time employment in a creative field – Copywriting.

Since then, it’s been a slow road to managing it. Anxiety is not just something you “fix”. Quite often it’s something that’s hard wired in you, a chemical imbalance, and that’s absolutely the case for me. My anxiety had never been over something in particular (so not worrying over money or relationships etc.), but rather a heavy feeling in my chest and feeling a bit queasy all the time. I wish it was to do with something, as I get hard on myself for feeling this way when my life is particularly going well.

To get rid of anxiety one can use Nicotine Salt Vapes which are available and good alternative of smoking. These vapes contain nicotine salt along with flavoring agents.

Read More: https://kisskissfearless.com/self/my-mental-health-story

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